Thursday, May 27, 2010

Changing

I think I must be weird because people always talk about how change is so hard.  And people don't like change.  But I like it.  I think change is refreshing.  It's a shift in perspective, a new attitude, a bright new day.  If someone knocked on my door and told me to go pack because we had to move, I'd be excited.  Okay, I'd be a little sad about leaving behind things I love, but I'd mostly be excited about the adventure ahead.  I've been feeling lately like I'm ready for a change.  I really can't do the same thing for too long, or stay in the same place or I get antsy. I get in a funk.  I'm kinda in a funk right now.  But new things are coming and that gets me excited and motivated.  I'm not really sure what I'm motivated to do, but once I figure it out, it'll get done.

There's only one more week of school left.  My little girl will be home with us again, and I won't be babysitting anymore.  That's a good change.  And I'm starting to get some more bookings for photography and that's good change.  Exciting...the unknown...will this business thing work?  Will I have to babysit next year, or will I make enough money from photography?  That part is a little scary, so I guess I can see why some people might hate that type of change, but how boring if I never got the chance to grow and change.

I've been getting the itch to move lately too.  We've been in this house for five years now and it seems like an eternity.  This is the longest I've been in the same place since I've been out of my parent's house.  I like this house, and it's starting to finally look the way I want it to (why does it take so long to decorate?).  But then I think about how fun it is to move and hunt for a new place and decide where all your stuff is going to go.  I don't know.  Sometimes I just want my life to be different.  You know in that movie, Sweet Home Alabama, when Reese Witherspoon's character is explaining why she left, she says, "I guess I just needed another life".  I totally get that.  Not that I wouldn't want to be a wife or mother, just that I could do something different with my life.  Live near the beach, travel with my kids, downsize, have a photography business, live downtown in a city, learn to sew, be a teacher, pay off our debt, finally be skinny, write a book.  There's so many things I want to do in life, and sometimes I feel like I'm going to run out of time...which is silly, because I'm not that old, but sometimes it just feels that way.

I'm trying to figure out if this need for me to change up my life is God somehow working in me to get me off my butt and make a change, or if it's just me being discontented with what I have.  Because don't get me wrong, I love what I have, and I don't want to ever take it for granted.  So, that's where I am right now.  Please tell me that I'm not alone.

1 comment:

  1. you aren't alone with the itch to change. There is always stuff I want to change ... about my house when I have money or time etc.

    ReplyDelete

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